Hey there!
So far this week into the 5 Steps to Foundational Confidence, we’ve been diving deep, and I thank you already for making it this far!
We’ve started to wake ourselves up to ourselves and understand the importance of awareness when creating real change in our lives.
We’ve explored the power of radical acceptance and self love, and learning to meet yourself where you are, without judgment
We've explored how taking radical ownership of your life is the secret to real power, and that is through self-responsibility.
But Now comes the part where you take all of that inner work... and live it out loud.
This is the moment where your internal confidence becomes external courage. Where you don’t just know who you are—you show up as him/her/them.
This is what I like to call authenticity.
Authenticity is confidence lived externally
Authenticity is the external manifestation of confidence.
It's about bringing how you feel about yourself on the inside out into the world and aligning your being, your actions, and you life to the truest version of yourself.
But let’s be clear... authenticity isn’t just about "being yourself.” It’s knowing yourself deeply: your values, your truth, your desires... and having the guts to act in alignment with them, even when it’s uncomfortable, or when others might not understand, or when it would be easier to just go along with what everyone else might be doing.
This 4th step in building confidence is all about the role of self-assertiveness and learning to live authentically (plus learning how to navigate resistance, pushback and fear).
It is about finding courage to be bold.
That doesn’t necessarily mean being loud or aggressive. It just means expressing yourself--your needs, your boundaries, your opinions--clearly, calmly, and unapologetically.
It means saying, “I deserve to take up space.”
It means trusting yourself enough to speak up for what matters, be it at work, in your family, dating, in your romantic relationships, being visible in your business, where ever.
Because when you finally start to bring your inner confidence out into the world little by little, and continue to live each moment with with authenticity and assertiveness, something amazing happens:
You stop waiting for permission to do thing, you stop playing small and start taking risks, but most importantly, you start embodying your worth.
And it starts to seep in everywhere: in your posture, your choices, your relationships, and your career.
Showing yourself to others and allowing yourself to be seen
I often get asked "what does it mean to be authentic?"
Well, living an authentic life is all about how you relate to other people while still being true to yourself, which is why learning how to express that confidence you have created is such an essential part of having a strong foundation of confidence.
So it is in this step there are various important components/skills that are essential to learn. For example:
- Learning and mastering the elements of confident and authentic communication.
- Finding and expressing your Authentic voice in any room.
- Learning how to and practicing express your needs
- Learning how to receive criticism or constructive feedback without falling into a self-critic spiral
- Learning how to say "no" and set boundaries clearly but kindly.
- Learning how to make decisions from a place of inner grounding and strength.
But mostly, living authentically it is about learning to practice courage, because that is the key skill required in order to show your true self to others, and in allowing yourself to truly be seen.
So, How do I start living more authentically?
Well, you’ve already laid the foundation:
- You woke up. You became aware of your patterns, beliefs, and emotional landscape, as well as your values, your strengths, your visions for your life.
- You practiced accepting what you saw, flaws and all, meeting yourself with honesty instead of judgment.
- You chose responsibility, stepping into the truth that no one is coming to save you, and that you are the author of your own life.
So from here, authenticity becomes the natural next step.
But how do you actually begin?
1. Start with remembering your values & your key priorities
Remember what matters most to you? When you strip away the noise, the expectations, the "should's", what do you want to stand for? Your values are that internal compass that will guide you. These will help you set your priorities, and aligning your actions to them.
2. Notice where you abandon yourself.
Where do you bite your tongue to keep the peace? Where do you say “yes” when you mean “no”? Where do you tolerate environments, conversations, or behaviors that don't serve the highest, most confident version of yourself. Start keeping track of them, bringing more awareness and noticing what needs to change.
3. Begin speaking & act from your truth, even in small ways.
You don’t have to start big. Start by simply saying, “Actually, I feel differently,” or “I need a moment,” or “This doesn’t feel right for me.” Start by learning to not apologizing for having a need, a boundary, or an opinion. Confidence and authenticity is built through action, even in the smallest ways.
4. Anchor into self-trust.
Trusting yourself that you know yourself, you know your needs, you know what is right for you better than anyone else does, and you know that you will be okay, even if you get pushback or resistance from others. The question is: can you trust that inner knowing completely.
Authenticity is a practice, and it is a practice that asks for courage. It requires action, and it asks you to live your truth, what ever that truth might be, out loud... even when it’s uncomfortable.
But here's the good news: living authenticity actually ends up compounding on itself, and creates exponential growth in your self confidence.
This is because every time you choose aligning with what is most important to you over approval, you honor your own truth.
Every time you honor your truth, you deepen your sense of inner safety and inner trust.
And every time you deepen your sense of inner safety and trust, the stronger you are in yourself, and the world and others will see that!
So some questions to reflect on:
✨ Where are you holding back your truth?
✨ Where are you still seeking permission instead of choosing self-expression?
✨ And what would change if you gave yourself full, fierce, loving permission to take up space?
Let this be your invitation to step forward, and be boldly, honestly, fully you.
P.S. IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY
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